Within an hour of getting up this morning, I had my head in my hands and was near to tears. Have you ever had a day like that?
You see it’s not the crap that happens in your life that makes it crap, it’s what you learn and how you deal with it that counts – and today is a day to learn lots, even before lunchtime!
My first learning curve was around boundaries. I’m not sure about you, but I have been very lack at setting these lately, I could give you a million reasons why, but it was my responsibility to set them set I didn’t. But do you know what happens when you don’t set boundaries – nobody knows where they stand, nobody knows the rules and carnage ensues.
The second learning curve came almost simultaneously with the first. You cannot please everyone… this is particularly true when your two adversaries have totally opposing views and refuse to even listen to the other one – compound that with being late and everyone loses.
When silence finally reigned in the house, that’s when I found myself close to tears and that’s when that little voice in my head started speaking to me; “you didn’t handle that well… you knew that would happen but did nothing to help it… why do you never learn… it’s all your fault… you’re just s**t really”. Has that little voice ever spoken to you and how did you respond?
You see the old me (as I so fondly call myself now) would have cried. But not just cried, I would have shouted, sobbed, walked aimlessly around the house and then sped off to work looking and feeling a complete mess, only to roll up at work, put my mask on and pretend to the world all was rosy – maybe you do the same.
But the new me didn’t, instead, I took 5 minutes out to calm down, thought about what I could do differently, had breakfast, gave my husband a hug and went to work a little battered but nonetheless ready for the day.
That’s when life taught me the third lesson – be prepared. You see when I arrived at work, I made a drink, sat down at my desk, opened my bag and guess what, no laptop!! I’m sure you can imagine what I was thinking but I stopped myself in my tracks. This time I drowned out the voice and said, “I am not going to let this get the better of me, I can save today”. I jumped in my car, drove the 9 miles home, grabbed the laptop, said goodbye to my hubby again and drove back.
On the return journey, I took the time to look around me. You see I live in a village west of Cambridge and our once serene countryside is currently being bulldozed to make a new road. I know in time it will be beneficial to the region but right now it’s muddy, dirty, barren and oh so very flat!! As I looked around it got me thinking about change and lesson four – change happens. More to the point not only does change happen but even when it’s for the best it often gets worse before it gets better and what one person considers progress someone else considers decline.
But what has this new road got to do with you learning a lesson?
Well sometimes change happens that you do not ask for and may not want. When it does you have a choice, react and go with it, fight it or run from it or alternatively seek to understand it before you decide what to do. Do you ever stop and think before you react in times of change?
The lessons did not stop there, when I finally got to work just before 10.30, I set up my laptop, made another drink, sat down and connected my laptop – guess what, no internet! You see when I popped in earlier, my phone was flashing and if I’d bothered to pay attention it was because the internet was down. So not only had I now made another pointless journey, I also had another lesson to learn. If something is trying to get your attention, asking for help if you will, don’t ignore it as it could save you all sorts of wasted time and energy in the long run.
I sat, head in hands again but this time rather than being close to tears, I was laughing to myself. You see my day was not turning out as planned but rather than let it break me, I realised I could learn so much from it and all the lessons were so intertwined and relevant I could only see this as a gift – mad I know, but so very true.
But now I want to put this in perspective as one big lesson for you to learn from too so that like me, you too can live your ultimate life…
Set boundaries and do not allow them to crumble under pressure as you cannot please everyone. Be prepared for what life gives you and when change is on the table, take time to consider that change before you react. Finally remember, we all perceive life differently and that’s OK, but when someone is trying to get your attention then you do need to react, often quickly, in order that a small problem does not magnify out of control.
I would love to hear how you are getting on with your day just post a comment below!
PS. Today I was going to video rather than write a blog, the lack of internet stopped that. So my bonus lesson is when the s**t hits the fan, don’t give in, find an alternative way to achieve your goals!